If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
