do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize