He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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