No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
