every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
