Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
