also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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