when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
