I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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