True but thats because hes a fetus.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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