Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
