Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
