No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
