Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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