Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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