ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
