i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize