I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
