So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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