i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
