last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
But I just had this pork pt. It was dick grabbing.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
