so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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