the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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