Your mouth is God's brothel.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize