Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
