i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
