She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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