oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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