no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
