IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i now understand why vodka
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
