I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
