the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
