I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
