Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
