i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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