I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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