You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love having hate sex.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
