I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
