what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
