Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm at about main and main street
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You're a waste of cheezeits
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
