I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
