So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
