The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
