If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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