I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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