You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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