This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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