She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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