i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
