Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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