You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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