u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
