You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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