What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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