grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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