If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize