ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
