u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
