just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
