3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
