There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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