I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
