I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
