I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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