Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
