I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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