Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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