Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
