Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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