Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
