New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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